Eat, drink, and be merry; for tomorrow you die.

It is said to be the philosophy of Epicureans; it is also an amalgamation of scriptures from The Bible. "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you die." Surely this quote is also an apt descriptor for America's first Thanksgiving Day, and every Thanksgiving Day that has followed, with much thanks to the joys of the dysfunctional family. We gather to break bread, and end up wanting to break someones neck; snap it like the wishbone on the turkey. Happy holidays! Well, that's another oxymoron for another time.

A day of giving thanks; nice idea. In a eutopian world, or hell, in a world where you may have even grown up in an above-normal family that may actually enjoy each other's company, that alone is enough to be thankful for. For the rest of us, it's often a month long excursion into the pits of hell of menu planning, agonizing over the various scenarios that will ruin the day, planning the seating arrangement to lessen the chance of a screaming match among guests, hoping Great Aunt Ethel won't notice that she wasn't invited because last year she got so drunk that she started hitting on your little brother, and yes, many many evenings spent with your BFF Chardonnay. It's kind of like a wedding, except at the end of the night instead of a new bride and groom, you pray that there are no new black eyes. You don't even have to be Hungarian or Jewish to have the busted china and wine glasses.

Okay, maybe that's truly worst case scenario, but will give you a good idea of where the mind will wander and latch on in times of duress! I, myself, have already ended up having to send my own mother an email in which I totally freaked out on my own worst case scenarios; luckily I was able to be talked down from the ledge of hysteria. This time. With only five days remaining until Thanksgiving, I wonder what else will go wrong. I haven't even started the cooking; first comes the mad dash to make sure the house looks presentable [currently, it doesn't, by any stretch of the imagination]. That's another perk of having company over; no matter how much you clean, it's pretty rare you end up feeling like your house is truly "clean enough" once the guests start showing up, especially when at least one of those guests is a self proclaimed neat freak.

I decided this year to try some new recipes. Tired of the same ol' dishes we usually do, which consist largely of canned goods, and a pretty strong aversion to watching the cranberry blob sliding out from the can once more, I scoured my favorite recipe place and found some dishes that promise to be tasty. For my own sanity's sake, I hope they live up to those promises! I'm sure that not doing a practice run on these new items is a Very Bad Idea, but frankly, I don't have any inclination to have the same food twice in the same week. My dinner guests will also serve as my guinea pigs. I feel this is a fair exchange, all things considered! I don't even like cranberry, however this year, I will be experimenting with a cranberry chutney. My husband has already looked at a picture of the finished product with a little skepticism; I can't deny that I'm a bit worried, too. We will also be trying out a recipe for sweet potatoes with an orange flavoring influence, served in a half an orange, no less. I'm worried most about these, as they have to sit in water to bake. How does one keep a rounded surface from tipping over? Ah, the madness! The stuffing and pies, however, will be coming courtesy of Stove Top and the local bakery; I just don't have the energy to do that much cooking all at once.

As if the cleaning, menu planning, cooking, seating arrangements, and worst case scenarios weren't enough, the rest of the world still moves onward. Not only do I have a portrait session to carry out for a client and her family, I have a meeting the day before Thanksgiving [aka, the day I hope to do at least half of my cooking, also the day my mother and her friend arrive in town], and will have my two small children underfoot since they will be out of school most of the week. Thanks, holiday! It's not like I didn't have enough on my plate as it was! My husband only has the day of Thanksgiving off, so I am going to be on my own here. I'm so looking forward to it! *smirk*

Ah, well. I take solace in knowing that I am not alone in my anxieties - people all over the country are going through exactly the same nightmare I am this month.

In that vein, I propose a toast. Here's to no one dying before their time; to food that turns out the way it's intended; to children and adults on their best behavior; to sparkling surfaces everywhere; and the endless river of alcohol we will consume to survive the holiday!

Cheers!