Oh no we didn't.

I am aware that I use my sense of humor as a coping mechanism when shit starts hitting the fan, but I never expected to literally find myself breaking down into hysterical fits of laughter last night while watching election results roll in. 

I have done my very best to avoid political discussion of any kind with anyone not living in my home, and I didn't really feel anxious about the whole thing until suddenly half the east coast was red. And at first I thought, well, the south is always red, just wait. But then there was just... more red. And more. And some more for good measure. So much red. All the red, everywhere. 

Today we are looking around in confusion, wondering what to tell our kids, and all manner of other ridiculously important things that have no right to even be questioned at this point, like deportation and walls and civil liberties and misogyny and sexual health. AGAIN. I don't understand how we got dragged back to this ugly, uncertain, hopeless place. 

This morning I read a post by a complete stranger that was one of the most naive, candy coated garbage sentiments I have read in a while. "Maybe it won't be as bad as everyone thinks! Maybe this is actually going to be good for us!" It produced yet another involuntary peel of laughter from deep within the place my heart used to lie, mostly unbroken. Then I cried. 

The thing is, though, I think that's also the moment I felt a tiny sliver of hope sneak in. Not because I have any hope that "maybe it won't be so bad." But because maybe this IS going to, eventually, be good for us. 

I say that because the issues here aren't just targeted at one group this time. It's not just about women's issues. It's not just about gay rights. It's not just about the black community. It's not just about immigration. It's about ALL of those things, together. We are all in this shit together. I hope we stand, united, and kick some ass. Or, maybe that's my own level of naivity peeking through. I don't know yet. It's all the hope I have to cling to right  this second, though.

Venus and Mars, and a sky full of stars

You know, I'm just about 100% sick of hearing about the whole feminism thing. I just want the opportunity to get on with the business of being a human female while enjoying the ability to make every single last decision of my own accord without some guy standing there judging or giving his unsolicited opinion. Or even some other woman, for that matter. What works for my life may not work for anyone else's, and I'm okay with that... so why do they insist we try to jam ourselves into whatever mold they fancy at the time?

I'm sick of the term "mansplain," and I'm sick of the men trying to explain who, when, why, how, and what a woman should do with her vagina, her wardrobe, her hair and makeup, her attitude, her life. I'm sick of the ridiculous disrespect that has made women literally fear walking down the street alone at night, or in broad daylight, because of what some man may do, which of course, she will be blamed for due to the length of her skirt or the tightness of her shirt, or no reason at all. I'm sick of the school dress code restrictions that grow ever increasingly tighter as the staff lose their grip on their responsibilities to actually educate their students, placing the blame on a girl in skinny jeans when a boy refuses to keep his eyes or hands to himself. I'm sick of the phrase "boys will be boys," and the wink and nod and dismissal that follows. I'm sick of the way women are viewed as the weaker sex, yet blamed for men "giving in to temptation," or however they wish to phrase the stupidity they have just indulged in.

I'm sick of being from Venus, while men reside on Mars. Because all of this means that women and men will never have whatever conversation that needs to occur in order for this to all stop happening. We will never understand each other, and we will never stop the blame game. We will never stop being victims, or victimised, or feel comfortable in our own skin, or proud of who we are, or proud of our partners. How can we, when we are making each other feel judged at every turn and assumed to be a person who utterly lacks control of their own actions, thoughts, behavior, and feelings?

Women can be just as brutally stupid as men in all of the above aspects, too, so don't think I am giving my own gender a get out of jail free card. I am also very grateful that almost all of the people I know and love don't fall under any of this crap. I am just sick of all of us having to deal with the fallout every single day.

Don't we all have anything better, more important, to do?
I know I sure do.