The Walking Wounded

Hello, Blog; it's been a long time. [You're just as lovely as you used to be! *ugh, get out of my head, Conway Twitty! out out out!*]

I guess I've had the winter funk. And other things. I met a friend, I got a dream job, I mourned the loss of something I've never had [hell, I'm still mourning], and I also lost my dream job. Pretty much all in the same little month time frame; it's been a lot to deal with, all in all. I learned that there is still some wounded little girl living inside my head that has the ability to distinguish playground rules from bullshit, and willingly shrieks out 'THAT'S NOT FAIR!' when something stupid happens. I'm trying to find a way to get to that little me and tell her to run along, as seldom is life fair, and grown-up me is growing weary of intensely feeling every injustice through the eyes of mini-me. The truth is, the world isn't made for wounded souls.

"My therapist says..." that I need to go shopping. I need to go buy a little doll, and that this doll will represent mini-me. That when I am feeling totally freaked out by life, I need to figure out what mini-me needs, and give it to her; be her mother - only then will I be able to heal grown-up me. She also said that she's fully aware that it sounds like she's condoning schizophrenia. I don't know... I'm not down with buying a doll; I think I'd be better suited to just using my own imagination, though I'm still not quite there. I'm getting closer. Hell, it's only been a week, so I'm cutting myself some slack, despite being all about facing things head on and getting on with it with a minimum of fuss. No one really enjoys being the walking wounded, right?

I have been reading a lot. Like. A LOT. A novel a day keeps the baddies away. I've had to throw in the towel on my most favorite new year's resolution, which was that I would not re-read anything this year that I've already previously read. Oh well. This year's finances are a joke, a continuation of previous years, and reading a new book every time at my current level would be bank breaking, even if that were a remote possibility. I need to go pay my library fines and just plow through their inventory.

It's finally looking and feeling like spring outside, though, which I hope will at least soothe away the winter funk. A little warmth, a little breeze, a little color on the landscape; surely there is medicine for the soul in that.